Guide to Personal Growth (Part Two)
(Key Text – Philippians 4:13)
- Listening is one way to show love (James 1:19).
- There are three basic principles to listening:
- Body Language - A Good Listener faces the person who is speaking … shoulder to shoulder, face to face. He / She maintains eye contact and an open body posture.
- Open Questions – Closed Questions ask for facts and are conversation stoppers.
- Reflective Listening – Love takes time to check if the message received is the one given.
- The length of time it takes to turn an acquaintance into a friend is four minutes. It is a real challenge for some people to cross the four minute barrier.
- There are three ways to handle conflict: Fight; Flight; Focus.
- The secret of conflict resolution is not to fight or flight, but it is focus.
- A focus message should have the following elements:
- Describe the behavior – Non Judgemental Description of the Behaviour
- State your feelings – Tell how the behavior makes you feel.
- Show the effect – Give a clear statement of the effect the behavior has on you.
- God will give us the strength to deal with any conflict (Isaiah 41:10; Joshua 1:5).
- Here are some ideas / tools for organizing time:
- No – Learn to say no, as you cannot do everything.
- To Do List – The time it takes to do this list is worth it.
- Deadlines – Set a time when something should be done.
- Rewards – Reward yourself for things completed.
- Calendar – This is where you list your appointments. A calendar keeps you from over-committing yourself.
- The organized person takes control of his /her time.
- Martha was impatient with the way her sister was … so she tried to change Mary trough scolding and nagging (Luke 10:38-42).
- The Pharisees were impatient with anyone not like themselves … they resorted to naming and shaming Mary (John 8:3-5).
- Judas Iscariot was also impatient with Mary … He criticized and lectured her on stewardship (John 12:3-6; Matthew 26:6-9; Mark 14:3-9).
- Jesus did not get impatient with Mary … He followed the “ABC” Model in facilitating change in Mary’s life, i.e. Accept the Person; Believe in the Person; Commit the Person to God.
- The most successful way to facilitate change in other people is to accept them, believe in them and commit them to God.
- With God’s help, every failure can become a stepping stone to success.
- There are six things we can do with failure:
- Acknowledge It – Confession of our failures allows for the Grace of Forgiveness (Proverbs 28:13).
- Thank God for It – Failure shows us our inability to do the Will of God without His Aid (1Thessalonians 5:18).
- Learn from It – We learn by the things we suffer … thus we gain experience (Romans 8:28).
- Use It as a Stepping Stone to Success – God trains some people by bringing to them disappointment (Philippians 4:12).
- Overcome It – God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us in the battle against sin (Acts of the Apostles, page 56).
- Transform It – Turn defeat to victory (1Corinthians 15:57).
- Giraffe Principle: “Stick your neck out if you want to reach your goal”.
- Every successful person, since the beginning of time, has been willing to risk failure so that he / she may gain success.
- It takes courage to rise above the fear of failure.
- There are four practical strategies that can help to increase courage:
- Talk Courage – The inner mind will respond by modifying behavior to conform to the affirmation.
- Praise God – Praising of God increases hope, courage and faith (Prophets and Kings, page 202).
- Have Faith in God’s Promises (Philippians 4:13).
- Accept the Gift of the Holy Spirit!
Presented by: Andile Ndlebe