“Marriage: Love In Action”

(Key Text – 1Corinthians 13:13)


  • On average, half of all marriages end in divorce.  The other half stay married without joy or love for the sake of the children, family, church and careers.
  • Your marriage need not be average!  Whether a marriage becomes a blessing or torment depends on the couple involved.
  • With the exception of the Insane or Alcoholic Persons (who should not marry anyway), any mature man and woman who enter marriage with the idea of making it a “Total Commitment of the Total Person for a Total Way of Life (TTT)” can look forward to a happy marriage.

Genuine Love

  • Love is the single most important force contributing to our total well-being.
  • A woman has an intense need to feel loved on a day to day basis … for the rest of her life.  A woman yearns to be someone special to her man … to be cherished, respected, appreciated and loved.
  • Love motivates a man to give up his singleness, work hard, plan, sacrifice and invest for his family.
  • There are six Principles of Genuine Love:
  1. Genuine Love involves a Commitment!  It is too demanding, exhausting and emotionally draining to maintain several love relationships concurrently.
  2. Genuine Love is Unconditional.  Intimacy can only develop in an atmosphere of unconditional love.
  3. Genuine Love attempts to meet the needs of the Other (Luke 6:38).  The test of Genuine Love is for a person to respond in a loving manner even though the other partner has acted thoughtlessly.
  4. Genuine Love enables us to love ourselves (Matthew 19:19).
  5. Genuine Love allows the other spouse to be himself/herself (1Corinthians 13:4).
  6. Genuine Love is permanent (1Corinthians 13:8).  Romantic Feelings may fail a couple, but genuine love for each other will hold them together through troubled times.


  • Husband and Wife must interact in an accepting manner on a day to day basis.  Acceptance does not mean “liking”, but rather viewing a situation without open hostility.
  • One of the most common forms of unacceptance is nagging (Proverbs 27:15).
  • Nothing destroys love more quickly than a running account of faults!
  • A Christian can develop a greater appreciation of Others by recognizing God’s Loving Acceptance (i.e. God hates sin, but loves the Sinner).
  • Acceptance does not mean being a “doormat”.  For example, you need not accept adultery … (word of caution: Scripture permits divorce, but does not command it).



  • Admiration meets a man’s most basic needs, especially when it comes from his wife.
  • A woman needs to feel appreciated by her husband (e.g. looks, hair, dress, figure, cooking etc.).
  • A day should never go by without an opportunity to verbally express appreciation of a specific good quality in each family member.  This is also called “Positive Reinforcement”.
  • Appreciation has the effect of changing behavior.  In the quarrel between the sun and the wind about who is stronger, it is shown that gentleness and friendliness are always stronger than force and fury.


  • A man needs a companion with whom he feels secure from ridicule.  Any man will respond to a woman he trusts.
  • Once private feelings are revealed, the other spouse must refrain from giving advice, criticizing, blaming or making judgements … the only thing your partner wants to know at this stage is that you care!
  • Honest Communication paves the way towards an intimate relationship between husband and wife.


  • We cannot love Others until we love ourselves first (Self Respect).
  • Every man should reserve some time in his busy schedule for his family.
  • A woman needs to have her feelings understood and accepted.
  • If a man is not happy in what he is doing, his wife cannot be happy either.
  • A wife should build up her husband through appreciation, approval and belief in his abilities.
  • Couples should rather seek to understand their partners than to be understood.

Supporting Each Other

  • Marriage requires a good deal of mutual submission, i.e. “give and take”!
  • The dynamics of a supportive relationship involve growing through blunders.
  • God’s Plan for Marital Happiness includes Supportive Spouses.

Fulfilling Your Mate

  • The most important Sex Organ is the brain!
  • Both Husband and Wife can benefit from lengthening ForePlay (on average twenty minutes).
  • Any husband who expects his wife to just turn on without adequate preparation does not understand female sexuality.
  • The focus of LovePlay is for the couple to have fun and experience pleasure together (on average five minutes).
  • During AfterGlow, a woman often feels a strong need for her husband to continue embracing her (on average fifteen minutes).


  • A couple must basically enjoy one another … mix fun with married life!
  • People respond favourably to smiles and laughter.  A smile makes people feel that everything is alright and it determines how people will feel during the day.  Laughter is a way of telling people that you are glad to see them and that it is good to be alive.



Presented by:   A. Ndlebe                                                                                            Date: 07 January 2012