“Teenage Sexuality”

(Key Text – Psalm 139:14)


  • It is in the area of sexuality that the Christian View is most opposed to that of Modern Society.
  • God does not expect Christians to conform to the standards of this world (Romans 12:2).
  • Some people, even Christians, jump from one bed to the next like some sex-crazed butterfly!
  • It seems as if Genuine Love and Commitment have been thrown out of the window.
  • The Motto of many young people is: “Lord, make me pure … but not yet!”
  • Sex maybe all around, but a person can choose what he/she fills his/her mind with (Philippians 4:8).

Christian Sexuality

  • Sex is a wonderful gift from God (Genesis 1:28).
  • Christian Sex is far better, superior and fulfilling than the heartless, selfish and destructive sex that is promoted by society.
  • Touching, Caressing and Making Love to a woman are not wrong … all of this should be part of a Committed Relationship of Marriage.
  • Sex is not for the immature.  Sadly, too many young boys and girls have experimented with sex far too soon.
  • Sex is only safe in a marriage relationship (1Thessalonians 4:3-5).

Misdirected Sexuality

  • Prostitution (1Corinthians 6:15-16; Proverbs 7:10-11)
  • Promiscuity (1Corinthians 6:9-10)
  • Homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:25-27; 1Timothy 1:8-10)
  • Fornication (Galatians 5:19-21; Revelation 21:8)
  • Adultery (Exodus 20:14; Matthew 5:27-28; Proverbs 6:32)


  • Love and Sex are not identical.
  • Sex is an important part of a love relationship between husband and wife.
  • What is love?  The scientific definition is “the cognitive affective state characterized by intrusive and obsessive fantasizing concerning reciprocity of amorant feelings by the object of amorance”.  No wonder people are confused!
  • On the other hand, popular culture defines love as: “Grave Mental Disease” (Plato); “Desperate Madness” (John Ford); “Two Minds without a Single Thought” (Philip Barry).
  • According to the Bible, “God is Love” (1John 4:8).  This means that Love is a whole principle of life and how to live it (1Corinthians 13:4-7).
  • God must always be the centre of our relationships and we must operate from His principles.

True Romance

  • Romance is about appreciating the person loved for all he/she is … not just the physical part.
  • You need to spend time talking … about your hopes, dreams, beliefs, God and any subject.
  • Some of the best poetry that celebrates human love is found in the Bible (Song of Solomon 1:2-4, 15; Song of Solomon 2:5-6, 10, 16; Song of Solomon 4:5, 7; Song of Solomon 8:6-7, 10; Proverbs 5:18-19).
  • Yes, God is a “True Romantic”!

Ten Principles on Sex

  1. Sex is good (Genesis 2:18-25)
  2. Sex has consequences (Galatians 6:7-8; Romans 1:24-25)
  3. Sex must not control you (1Thessalonians 4:4-5; 1Corinthians 6:12-14; 1Corinthians 10:23-24)
  4. Sex is secondary to Love (1Corinthians 13:1-13)
  5. Sex can sometimes only be handled by running (Genesis 39:12)


  1. Sex becomes more dangerous as you mess around with it (James 1:12-15; 1Thessalonians 4:3-8)
  2. Sex is a great temptation, but it can be resisted (1Corinthians 10:13).
  3. Sex is two becoming one (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; 1Corinthians 6:16)
  4. Sex must honour God (1Corinthians 6:20)
  5. Sex is designed to be the completion of Intimacy (Genesis 2:23-24)

Turning Around (U-Turn)

  • An often ignored fact about sexual activity is that one thing leads to another.
  • It is important to recognize the steps in the sex process … so that a person can stop before it is too late!
  • The Ten Steps in the Sex Process are as follows:
  1. Mutual Attraction (e.g. eyes meeting in a crowded room; smiling at each other)
  2. Contact (e.g. shaking hands; accidental touch)
  3. Touching (e.g. holding hands; hugging)
  4. Kiss – just a kiss!
  5. French Kissing” – long and deep kissing (i.e. tongue in partner’s mouth)
  6. Fondling (e.g. touching a girl’s breast outside her clothes)
  7. Undressing – it is now hard to stay in control!
  8. Mutual Stimulation (e.g. stimulate each other’s genitals)
  9. Simulated Sexual Intercourse, i.e. Oral Sex
  10. Sexual Intercourse, i.e. penetration of the vagina by the penis


  • The Bible does not specifically say where to draw the line, but progression beyond step 4 is dangerous.

Seven Preventative Measures

  1. Know where the Brakes are!  In other words, do not wait until there is a fire before you look for a Fire Escape.
  2. Do not break the Speed Limit.  You might lose control and crash!
  3. Do not rev the engine in Neutral.  You owe it to yourself and partner not to keep on getting excited when you are not going anywhere.
  4. Do not drive in Reverse at 120 km/h.  Misdirected Sexuality (i.e. going the wrong way fast) is very dangerous.
  5. Do not start in Fourth Gear!  This will damage your “gearbox” (mind) and “engine” (sexual drive).
  6. Do not ignore Warning Signs.  Ignoring warning signs can be dangerous and lethal.
  7. If things are going too fast, Stop and reverse (or use escape lane).


  • The UN-Promise has nothing to do with the United Nations!  This is simply a promise every young man and young woman must make until they are married:
  1. I will not UN-Dress.
  2. I will not UN-Fasten.
  3. I will not UN-Zip.
  4. I will not UN-Button.
  5. I will not UN-Hook.


  • We are living in an “Unthinking Age”.  “Just do it … if it feels good, don’t ask questions … do it now”!  Such advice is destructive.
  • Thinking needs to be done before a person gets into a physical relationship.
  • Sex Misused takes a person away from God.  It leads to Spiritual Death!
  • Making the right choice before hand is so much better than dealing with consequences of a wrong choice later.
  • Even if you think you have gone too far, it is not too late to turn back.  God invites you to return to Spiritual Virginity.
  • Lastly, always remember that you will not die from not having sex!


Presented by:   A. Ndlebe                                                                                            Date: 01 September 2012