Guide to Personal Growth (Part Two)

(Key Text – Philippians 4:13)

Loving Person

  • Listening is one way to show love (James 1:19).
  • There are three basic principles to listening:
  1. Body Language - A Good Listener faces the person who is speaking … shoulder to shoulder, face to face.  He / She maintains eye contact and an open body posture.
  2. Open Questions – Closed Questions ask for facts and are conversation stoppers.
  3. Reflective Listening – Love takes time to check if the message received is the one given.
  • The length of time it takes to turn an acquaintance into a friend is four minutes.  It is a real challenge for some people to cross the four minute barrier.

Assertive Person

  • There are three ways to handle conflict: Fight; Flight; Focus.
  • The secret of conflict resolution is not to fight or flight, but it is focus.
  • A focus message should have the following elements:
  1. Describe the behavior – Non Judgemental Description of the Behaviour
  2. State your feelings – Tell how the behavior makes you feel.
  3. Show the effect – Give a clear statement of the effect the behavior has on you.
  • God will give us the strength to deal with any conflict (Isaiah 41:10; Joshua 1:5).

Organized Person

  • Here are some ideas / tools for organizing time:
  1. No – Learn to say no, as you cannot do everything.
  2. To Do List – The time it takes to do this list is worth it.
  3. Deadlines – Set a time when something should be done.
  4. Rewards – Reward yourself for things completed.
  5. Calendar – This is where you list your appointments.  A calendar keeps you from over-committing yourself.
  • The organized person takes control of his /her time.

Patient Person

  • Martha was impatient with the way her sister was … so she tried to change Mary trough scolding and nagging (Luke 10:38-42).
  • The Pharisees were impatient with anyone not like themselves … they resorted to naming and shaming Mary (John 8:3-5).
  • Judas Iscariot was also impatient with Mary … He criticized and lectured her on stewardship (John 12:3-6; Matthew 26:6-9; Mark 14:3-9).
  • Jesus did not get impatient with Mary … He followed the “ABC” Model in facilitating change in Mary’s life, i.e. Accept the Person; Believe in the Person; Commit the Person to God.
  • The most successful way to facilitate change in other people is to accept them, believe in them and commit them to God.

Victorious Person

  • With God’s help, every failure can become a stepping stone to success.
  • There are six things we can do with failure:
  1. Acknowledge It – Confession of our failures allows for the Grace of Forgiveness (Proverbs 28:13).
  2. Thank God for It – Failure shows us our inability to do the Will of God without His Aid (1Thessalonians 5:18).
  3. Learn from It – We learn by the things we suffer … thus we gain experience (Romans 8:28).
  4. Use It as a Stepping Stone to Success – God trains some people by bringing to them disappointment (Philippians 4:12).
  5. Overcome It – God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us in the battle against sin (Acts of the Apostles, page 56).
  6. Transform It – Turn defeat to victory (1Corinthians 15:57).

Courageous Person

  • Giraffe Principle: “Stick your neck out if you want to reach your goal”.
  • Every successful person, since the beginning of time, has been willing to risk failure so that he / she may gain success.
  • It takes courage to rise above the fear of failure.
  • There are four practical strategies that can help to increase courage:
  1. Talk Courage – The inner mind will respond by modifying behavior to conform to the affirmation.
  2. Praise God – Praising of God increases hope, courage and faith (Prophets and Kings, page 202).
  3. Have Faith in God’s Promises (Philippians 4:13).
  4. Accept the Gift of the Holy Spirit!

Presented by: Andile Ndlebe